I finished my Big Brother 3 application form, and I’ve pasted a few of my lengthier answers below. Here’s the Philly cream cheese…
25. Describe your relationship with your mother.
Growing up, my mother and I were never close. She never felt comfortable in the maternal role. Her priorities are more material than anything else. She divorced my father when I was still an infant, because she didn’t enjoy being a stepmother to his children. We tried to rekindle our relationship about six years ago, and we were rather successful up until a few months ago. After I received my Master’s, she wanted me to come work for her millionaire husband who is an apartment builder, but I couldn’t comply with her wishes, and our relationship has been strained ever since. She’s a flawed woman, and I guess it’s difficult to accept destructive inconsistencies in your parents.
26. Describe your relationship with your father.
My father raised me, so we were very close growing up. At an early age I even used to take showers and sleep in the same bed as my dad. He’s a great man with a heart of gold. Unfortunately, my father is getting very old. He just celebrated his 82nd birthday, and his increasing senility has been difficult for me to handle. Every time we talk on the phone, he’ll ask me the same question over and over, and not realize he’s doing so. It’s horrible to see his brain deteriorate. He used to be so charming and on top of things. I guess what I’m trying to say is that he’s not the person he once was, and I miss that person a lot. He’s still my father, but everything is just a little different. His decreasing health has led him into driving two cars thru two different garages in a single year’s time. How do you deal with stuff like that? Another reason my relationship is strained with my mother is because she laughs when I tell her details like this. She has absolutely no compassion for what is happening to my father. There’s a huge age difference between the two of them (she’s in her 50s).
32. What are your thoughts on religion?
I’m not religious, but I don’t consider myself without spirit. I think religion is often used as a justification for intolerance and injustice in our society. Most religions contradict a prime belief in my life, namely “If you aren’t harming anyone else, nobody has the right to dictate how you live your life.” Empirically, I have seen religion used as a powerful method to deny gay rights, segregate persons of color, and unfairly define a woman’s place in our society. I won’t prescribe to any school of thought that is so detrimental to so many people. However, I do believe in a higher power. I just don’t think humans have the capacity to comprehend what that power is. I guess what I’m saying is that I strive to be a more spiritual person, but I don’t need any form of organized religion to get me there.
33. Are politics important to you? How often do you vote?
Politics are important to me, but as a homosexual, I can’t help but feel disenfranchised. I have only voted twice in my life. The first vote I ever cast was for Ann Richards, who I think was the most amazing governor ever, but she ended up losing to George W. Bush. The second vote I cast was for Al Gore, and he lost to the same man. In the end, I think whoever will best improve conditions for homosexuals is the person who will get my vote. It’s a simple as that.
34. Have you had any particularly interesting occupations in your past?
Yes! I’ve had tons of different jobs, but nothing quite compares to the daily grind of waiting tables. I have spent the last three years working off and on at Romano’s Macaroni Grill, and boy do I have some interesting stories from that place. There’s nothing like serving up crappy Italian food to semi-yuppies to teach you how the world ticks. Waiting tables may not initially sound all that exotic, but I have experienced things at that restaurant that would make your head spin. Take for example, the drunken trucker who walked into my section one of my shifts. He ordered a 5-course meal, drank an entire jug of cheap wine, and passed out between each serving. To top things off, he had a beard stretching down to his belly that caught all the food that didn’t quite make it to his mouth. My section was literally closed down while he was there, because we specialize in family dining, and my manager didn’t want to subject any of the local children to the man now known as “THE BIGGEST CRACKER TO WALK THE FACE OF THE EARTH!” So, yeah, I’ve done some fairly interesting work. Incidentally, he didn’t tip me a single cent.
53. List three adjectives that describe you.
1) Knock down, drag out, cat claws clamped to a hot tin roof, over the top funny!
2) Proud: of who I am, and what I stand for. I’m no sell out!
3) Cre8ive
54. If you could hold any political office, what would it be and why?
Frankly, I don’t think I’d like to trade my life in to be some politico butt puppet, paid by special interest groups to talk when they want me to, and be silent when they request. So, it may not be the answer you’re looking for, but if I could click my heels and hold any political office I wanted, I’d most likely pass up the offer.
55a. What is the accomplishment you are most proud of?
My senior year of college I was awarded the distinction of being one of the top ten collegiate speakers in the nation at the American Forensics Association National Individual Events Tournament. I am most proud of this accomplishment, because it was the culmination of seven years of dedication to an activity, and reaffirmed my belief that I could accomplish most anything I put my mind to.
55. What are you most ashamed of, either now or in your past?
I am most ashamed of not being able to quit smoking. I have tried to quit on many occasions, but I can’t kick the habit. It weighs on my mind, because I firmly believe I could stop if I really put my mind to it. Yet, each time I try to quit, I use the smallest of frustrations to justify lighting up. This vice reminds me how weak I am when it comes to certain things.
56. Describe your perfect day.
For starters,
I’d wake up on September 12, 2001,
and two towers in New York would still be standing
I’d wake up at half past noon in my lover’s arms
I suppose since I’ve met him
I start most every day the perfect way
On my perfect day,
the New York Times would run two major headlines,
one of which would read,
“AIDS Vaccine Discovered in Denmark,”
the other would say,
“Wife Discovers Pictures of Jerry Falwell Peeing on Jesse Helms in Turkish Bathhouse!”
After I read my paper,
I’d make my way to work passing by every person who has ever belittled my existence
standing on city streets, holding squigees, spitting on people’s windshields for spare change
holding signs that say, “Hungry. Please feed me,”
and on my perfect day, I would
On my perfect day I’d take a ten hour lunch break
I’d walk into a restaurant,
and be greeted by a bevy of waiters who lost their cushy Westlake dot com jobs,
and routinely tipped me less than 10% when I waited on them,
I’d leave them a cool 3 cents-
a penny for their thoughts regarding how bad tips that need to pay the bills make them feel,
and the long awaited poetic justice of my two cents
For just 15 minutes
I’d get to be a woman,
and those 15 minutes would be fierce
I’d experience the miracle of child birth in the first ten,
and I’d spend the remaining five walking down city streets looking like Lucy Liu in Jimmy Choo shoes,
receiving cat calls from hunky men holding jackhammers,
I’d take my best friends on shopping sprees
where we’d buy come fuck me Prada sling backs from Saks,
save every dopey eyed puppy at the pound,
and purchase fat suits from the creators of Friends & Shallow Hal
then burn them,
because our heads are screwed on straight,
and we realize fat suits are the black face of the new millennium
Then I’d come home to magnificent messages left on my voice mail,
everyone just calling to say I love you
Fan letters fill my mailbox,
more lives changed by my work
My perfect day would end with a phone call from my father
but in this phone conversation he would remember things
like the name of the peppermint park he took me to when I was little, what he ate for dinner only an hour ago, or simple things like my middle name,
and we would laugh for hours on the telephone line
like we used to before hurricanes and rains clouded up his 83 year old brain,
and I think that would be the highlight of my perfect day
I’d crawl into bed with my boyfriend
Not a beer drank,
or a cigarette smoked
Still reeling and plumb drunk from a day well spent
57. Who is your hero and why?
I suppose everyone’s personal hero is somebody in their life who has overcome some type of great adversity, and still lives their life with a smile on their face. My own fits into that category perfectly, and she’s my sister, Tina. When my father divorced his fourth wife, he got custody of his two sons, but his wife got custody of Tina. Whereas my brothers moved to Houston with my somewhat stable father, Tina was raised in New York City by a cocaine addicted mother. Luckily, she grew up with an amazing circle of friends who all took care of each other, and Tina grew up to me an amazing person. Often, when I’m confronted with a difficult situation, I find myself thinking W.W.T.D? aka. “What would Tina do?”
58. List 3 items you would take with you into the Big Brother house if allowed and why?
1) A blanket with silk on the ends, because I like to rub the silk between my fingers while I suck my thumb. I guess I have strong oral and tactile fixations. I know it’s strange, but it’s a pleasant way to kill time for me.
2) An empty journal to write poetry and notes in. I’d auction the journal off on Ebay for charity when I departed the house.
3) A picture album of all my loved ones, because it would be something familiar to turn to when things became difficult. Also, it would allow my housemates to get a view into my life outside the house, and I hope that would make me more endearing.
59. Have you ever been to a nude beach? If so, what was it like?
Austin has a nude beach called Hippie Hollow, and I’ve been there on several occasions. While I’ve never walked around on the rocky beach, I have had an eye full there. It’s been my experience that the people you actually want to see naked on a nude beach are never the ones who shed their clothing. Why is it that the majority of naked people at a nude beach are the people who should never step out of their clothes? Not even in the privacy of their own home! Not even to take a shower! Also, a majority of the older men who walk in the buff at Hippie Hollow leave their shirts on. What’s that about? I just don’t see the logic!
60. Finish this sentence: “My life’s motto is…”
My life’s motto is do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I know it’s not very original, but I think everyone’s quality of life would be greatly enhanced if they adhered to this motto. Further, I always gage what I deem fair based on this rule. It helps establish rules and boundaries. However, once somebody has violated this rule in hopes of advancing their own cause, the gloves are off. I treat people in direct relation to the way they treat me. Thus, I would never sell anyone I trust out to the highest bidder, and I don’t have much regard for the feelings of people who have crossed me in relation to this simple little rule.
61. What would you do if “Big Brother” made you famous?
I’d use my fame as a platform to advance endeavors I believe in. For example, I’d offer my name, creativity, and services to help in fundraising, particularly fundraising for queer-related events. Further, it would be my aim to be one of People’s top 25 most intriguing people for the year of 2002. Once I had those accomplishments under my belt, I’d go on Entertainment Tonight, and spit spitballs at Mary Hart. What more can you ask for from fame?
62. What type of people would you choose to have living with you in the house?
I’d like to have a good mix of people living in the house with me. The more diverse, the better. However, I will say I think it would be a great idea to have two completely DIFFERENT types of gay guys on the show, and see what happens from there. Rather than having your token homo, it might be interesting to see the type of drama two radically different queers would bring to BIG BROTHER, just as long as I’m the suave one.
63. What types of people would you NOT choose to live with you in the house?
I don’t want anyone violent in the house. It’s fine to speak your mind, even yell your opinions out if you have to, but I’m very big when it comes to physical boundaries. I firmly believe nobody has the right to touch you during any type of verbal altercation, and anybody who thinks differently doesn’t deserve to have this opportunity.
66. Which past “Big Brother” houseguest did you like the most? The least? Explain.
The BIG BROTHER character I liked the least would have to be Bunky. While it was great to see an openly queer male on the show, I hated how weak he was. From the onset, he was afraid to share his sexuality with his housemates, thinking that his sexual preference alone would be adequate reason for him to be voted off. He only became more annoying each time he would cry his eyes out when he had to vote off a fellow contestant, even the ones he despised. Give me a break! BIG BROTHER is a game, and voting people off is part of that game. Further, I despised the way he followed stronger players in an attempt to stay in the game longer. Why didn’t he build his own strategy, and become a leader in the game?
My favorite character on BIG BROTHER thus far was Monica. I greatly respected the way she played the game, namely no nonsense. She never seemed to compromise her morals in the game, spoke her mind when she needed to, and got far in the game because she was upright. I especially admired the way she made Nicole look so small when she came back for the vote at the end of season two. You go girl! Uh-kay? GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF MONI! Just work it gurl! Work IT!
67. Do you have a strategy for winning “Big Brother”?
Yes, first of all, I wouldn’t nag anyone or try to set up some type of power hierarchy. These are the first people who get the boot. I’m a fairly dramatic person by nature, and I realize I would have to tone that down if I wanted to get far in the game. After the first week, I would try to befriend as many people as I could, and make an unspoken claim for why I shouldn’t be voted out of the house. Like any good player, I would make alliances, but I wouldn’t make them as blatantly obvious as some of the past players. My aim in the game would be to basically fly under the radar, but build a silent army while I was doing it. If I’m in an alliance, I don’t want to make it obvious to anyone in the house. That written journal may come in handy here.
68. Aside from the cash prize, what do you hope to gain from winning “Big Brother”?
The cash prize is actually the last thing on my mind. I wonder if everyone says that. Well if they do, I actually mean it. I don’t think I’d even start thinking about the money until I made it into the final four. What intrigues me most about this game is that it gives individuals a platform from which to speak from. I think I have a lot of interesting things to share with the world, and that is what I would take most from the game. Also, the opportunity of being forced to hang around people I may normally stay very far away from appeals to me. I could see a lot of personal growth coming from walking out of that house, and my hobby has always been making myself a better and stronger person.
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